3 Ways to Reset Our Fight-Flight-Freeze Arousal System

__________________________________________________________________________________

What the Fight-Flight-Freeze system?

In a simple way, the fight-flight-freeze (now includes fawning) response, is something the body does automatically in response to danger or perceived danger. However, if you had a serious trauma or days on end of having to be on high alert (whether from an abusive family member or due to going to a war zone), your body learned to be in fight-flight-freeze or fawning almost all the time. It has become a pattern or way of functioning. You are always running on overdrive, so when something does happen, even if it is just a driver cutting you off, you are ready to fight or have a breakdown.

Why does it Flare?

This system in the body flares to keep us safe. When you were a baby, you were relaxed until you were uncomfortable, say from hunger. When the hunger became serious, your body started asking for help. You cried. You parents comforted and fed you, and you relaxed. If your parents neglected you, you eventually stopped crying, learning no comfort was coming. You learned to be anxious but to freeze/not expect help. This is just one small way early in life your fight or flight system could practice relaxing, after your needs were met, or, you learned you couldn't relax. This is on an unconscious level.

Over time, you either learned that your arousal system was there to warn you, and with action, your needs were met and you could relax, or you learned to be in high alert or in high arousal all the time. (or some combination thereof).

How do we Manage it?

When our arousal system is flared most or all of the time, the body will eventually give out or not be able to function in some capacity. It is exhausting to be in fight-flight-freeze or fawning most or all of the time. Our bodies are not meant to "live" there, only to go there when there is real danger. And when we live there, we cannot fully trust our instincts or "trust our gut". This is because assessing what is going on when we are already in fight or flight is quite different than assessing a situation when we are calm and relaxed. We will over react, over judge, over assess that there is danger or threat. What we want to do is function or live in a reset or calm state.

There are several things you can do to learn to manage your arousal system, but first look at the steps to calm down or reset:

1) Intentionally become more and more aware of your own body and emotions. Are you calm; are you irritated; are you stressed; are you running in overdrive? Actually, our society encourages running till you drop, but the body is made to run in a much calmer state and can maintain that a lot longer.

2) When you are aware that you are in higher arousal (your heart is racing, you want to scream, you are tired and out of breath), then it is time to reset.

3) Eventually, you start practicing resetting all the time - before you get up, before you leave the house, before you transition from work to home, etc.

Several of the techniques or things you can try to reset will eventually be easier when you do them earlier in the day and before you are in a full blown panic or overwhelm, and that's why step 3 becomes so important. Here are a list of things we know to be helpful, and it is up to you to commit to practicing one or many of these. After all, you will feel better, be kinder, assess a lot less real danger in your day to day life, and hopefully enjoy life a good deal more.

Those things are: meditation, visualization, guided imagery, deep breaths, walks in the woods (forest bathing), sunshine, adequate sleep on a regular basis, and cardio exercise. Be sure to read next months blog where we go into the details and differences between meditation, visualization, and guided imagery or guided meditation.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Email theresamarschik@thecenterofloveandacceptance.org if you would like to start therapy to learn how to reset your arousal system.