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Background
"Are you an American or an 'American't'?, Judi Kirchner used to say regularly in our childhood. When I was a young girl, I thought it was just Mom's response to every complaint us kids had about doing chores or things we did not want to do. However, as I have thought about this saying, over and over again, usually at pivotal points in my life, I have come to realize that it may mean just a little bit more.
Advice
Yes, it can, and sometimes did mean, "Are you going to be a can-do person or are you going to not even try and say you can't?" That's important to explore in it's own right. Do you dismiss the uncomfortable before considering it? Do you explore how you can move forward, or do you just give up and stay comfortable doing what you are used to doing, even if you don't like it?" "Do you resist new routines, new laws, new people, because you are fearful?" In doing this, you must realize at least that you are choosing what you have and how you think. You are choosing to stay where you are. No one is doing that to you. As long as you know it is your choice, and there is no blaming anyone for what you have or where you are in life, then so be it. But, sometimes it is worth considering what you CAN do as life evolves.
Over the years, I have found myself asking me, "Am I an American or and American't?" This is in the face of not just personal choices for jobs or if I will try a new workout, but in consideration of many things in life. Will I say something when I see someone being mistreated? Will I stand up for myself and set boundaries? Will I vote even when it seems like it doesn't matter? Will I encourage others even when I am struggling? Will I? Am I an American or American't?
For me, that question, more than most other questions, for some reason, urges me to be more. I feel the urge to do better, because that is what America stands for. I feel the need to never give up, because that is what America stands for. I feel the conviction to do what is kind and good for myself and others, because that is what American stands for. Every person who is an American citizen is part of a melting pot of people. We are people who want to continue toward equity and equality.
Whether it is a long, tough project at work, or I'm trying to communicate with someone who has different views than me, or I am just plain exhausted, I remind myself, "I'm and Ameri-can". Yes, sometimes the answer is to rest or take a break, or sometimes the answer is to reset and try again a new way. Sometimes the answer is to let someone else do the leading, but the answer is never to check out. Never stop showing up for yourself and the kind of community you envision.
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Contact support@thecenterofloveandacceptance.org if you want to start your healing journey.
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